a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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