paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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