you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
