I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
People in love make me want to vomit
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
