i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
