So drunk, too bad you don't want this
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
