i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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