i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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