PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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