Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
