I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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