don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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