It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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