he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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