AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
