i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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