party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
