Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
