R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
