thus making me awesome and them whores
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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