You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
