I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
