She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
