I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
