We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I have aggressive nipples.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
