After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
