Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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