I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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