try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
