think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
