How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
