Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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