Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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