Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
