ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
