You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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