I am puke
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
