Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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