I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
