So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
