last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
