Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
someone threw a dead crab at me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I fill condoms, not promises.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
