Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
