get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Mom said you looked used
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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