For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
