you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I look better un-naked...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
