i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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