ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
