Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
