you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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