Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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