my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You're a waste of cheezeits
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
